Fight
by Kat-of-the-Streets
Summary: Cora finds out about Robert kissing Jane and isn't able to forgive him. Robert / Cora, and a little Mary/Matthew.
1. Chapter 1

His wife asked him to meet her in the library. He thought the request odd but they've just seen a young woman being buried and Sybil walking off with the chauffeur, so maybe she just needs a little sympathy and comfort. Although he has no idea why this has to happen in the library.

When he walks in, she stares at him with an icy look on her face.

"Why did you do it?"

"Why did I do what?"

"Kiss the maid."

"I haven't kissed a maid." Shit, he shouldn't have lied.

"Don't you dare lie to me Robert Crawley. Because I saw you. And I heard you. You said that nothing had happened yet. You wanted to take her to bed."

"I don't know what I wanted." He said this a lot louder than he should have, but Cora's plain statement about wishes he wanted to keep hidden from her forever have put him off guard.

"But you do know that. You wanted to sleep with that woman while I was fighting for my life."

"I didn't know you were fighting for your life."

"What did you think I was doing? Having a rest?" Cora now speaks a lot louder than she should as well.

"No. But nobody told me how bad it was."

"Maybe they would have told you had you asked. Or maybe you'd have seen it for yourself had you actually come to my room. But you were busy with that maid."

"Cora, that is unfair. When I found out how you were, I almost broke down with the fear of losing you."

"Yes. And as soon as you didn't have to fear for that anymore you went back to your little maid."

"She wanted to say goodbye."

"You kissed her after you had told me that we were all right." They are both shouting now. He should stop this conversation, he should fall to his knees and beg Cora's forgiveness but he can't.

"It is not only my fault, you know"

"No, I don't know that. Because I didn't kiss anyone else."

"Maybe not."

"Certainly not."

"But you didn't kiss me either. Not really. Your heart wasn't in it anymore."

"And that is reason enough for you to kiss someone else? After almost 30 years of marriage? 30 years Robert, 30 years."

"You didn't care for me anymore. Do you have any idea for how long we haven't, well, you know what I mean. It has been more than 4 months, Cora."

"And because you needed to satisfy your urges you kissed a maid. Instead of just telling me what you wanted."

"I tried Cora, I tried. But you just wouldn't listen."

"Maybe you didn't try hard enough."

"Oh, I did try hard enough. But everything, everything is more important to you than this marriage. And I just can't stand it anymore." And with that he leaves his wife, the woman he has loved for nearly thirty years, alone in their library. He meets his daughters in the entrance hall, all three of them rooted to the spot. All three of them looking like their mother in their own specific ways. The hurt in their eyes speaks volumes.

"I suppose you've heard us."

"The people in the village have heard you."

"Well, you aren't little girls anymore. We don't have to hide our troubles from you." He knows he is being incredibly unkind to his daughters but he just can't face them at the moment, so he leaves them where they are.

They don't talk for weeks. A gloom is cast over Downton Abbey, a gloom that seemingly will never lift. Sybil left Downton a few days after the fight to go to Dublin and marry Tom, Matthew left a few days after her to live in Manchester again where he wouldn't be reminded of what he had lost at Downton. Mary and Edith stay, hardly speaking to one another because there is nothing left to say between them. They both have their own troubles to deal with. They have both lost their faith in love, even if Sybil's letters are full of praise for Tom. The Dowager still comes for dinner on occasion but keeps fighting with both her son and daughter-in-law. After much prodding, Mary finally told her what her parents had fought about and she is dismayed by what her son has done but she also thinks that Cora is punishing him too harshly.

She has reached a point at which she just can't stand it anymore. Her parents haven't really talked to each other for over three months now and they cast a gloom over everyone. She is an adult and should be beyond caring about whether her parents get along or not. And she is beyond that point. As does everyone else, she knows that her parents' marriage is just one of convenience and the turn their relationship has taken is not surprising. They only surprising aspect about it is that it didn't happen at least 28 years earlier. As she walks past the library her father calls to her.

"What is it?" she asks rather unfriendly. Not because he cheated on her mother but because he is making everyone miserable. Just as her mother is.

"Mary, don't be so unfriendly." He is one to talk.

"Why not? It's not as if this was a house full of joy."

"I just wanted to know if you had heard anything from Matthew."

"No. Why would I hear from him?"

"I don't know. I just thought that you two"

"That us two what?"

"I don't know. Would find your way to each other."

"We won't. There are unresolved issues between us. Issues that can never be resolved. And I'd rather not have that in a marriage." She knows this was below the belt but she just couldn't help herself.

"Mary, if you have the chance to make it better"

"I don't Papa. And stop pestering me. Matthew won't marry me. He can't. And I can't marry him either. Just forget about that stupid idea."

"Mary"

"No."

She storms past her mother when she leaves the library. She knows that her mother is about to say something but her mother is making her just as miserable as her father is, so she doesn't stop.

"What was that?" She is shocked by her own words. It's the first time in months that she has talked to her husband without it being absolutely necessary.

"I asked her if she had heard from Matthew. I suppose she took it the wrong way. She is not in a very good mood."

"She isn't the only one."

"I suppose that is true." He sounds so sad and for the first time in months she feels a tiny twinge of regret for being to him the way she is. But his treatment of her is just as bad, so she doesn't really care. She turns around and leaves.

"Cora," he calls after her. She turns around.

"What?"

"I was wondering if .. Forget it. It's nothing."

She knows that it isn't nothing. She knows what made her husband tell Mary to try to make things better between her and Matthew. She knows that he was wondering about tomorrow because tomorrow is there thirtieth wedding anniversary. She has been thinking about nothing else for a week but there is nothing to be done about it. She has decided to ignore it. Her husband kissed another woman and would have slept with that other woman had her own illness not prevented him from doing so. And he is of the opinion that she is to blame for it.

Their anniversary comes and goes and isn't acknowledged by anyone. She doesn't know why but she is a little disappointed that Robert hasn't even mentioned it. Both Mary and Edith were gone for the day but they are gone most days. She knows that Mary has taken to visiting Isobel and her Granny quite often and she has no idea of what Edith does. She tried to ask her about it several times but Edith only shrugged her shoulders and said "I am doing this and that. You know how it is" each time she tried to talk to her.

He comes into the breakfast room first as most days and sits down to read his paper. Usually his daughters follow him a little later and he usually talks them a little, although ever since the big fight they have become rather quiet. He supposes he deserves that in some way although he wishes they would talk to him at least a bit more.

When the door opens he supposes it to be Mary or Edith but when he turns around to greet either one of his daughters his eyes fall on his wife.

"What are you doing here?" he barks at her. He could kick himself for it. He should have said something nice, should have tried to have a conversation with her but for some reason he just doesn't seem to be able to react to her in a proper manner.

True to his way of greeting her, she looks rather taken aback but then answers "This is the breakfast room. I am having breakfast. Although I have to admit that I had hoped that you had already left."

He wants to throw something back at her but at that moment Carson enters with the morning post. He takes the letters of the plate, hands Cora her letters without saying another word and proceeds to open his own post.

"I don't believe it." Cora doesn't react to this or at least she tries not to. So he just goes on. "This letter is from Matthew. He's coming here. He says he wants to clear up a misunderstanding between himself and Mary. Maybe there is hope after all."

"Maybe there is hope for what?"

"Them getting married of course."

"No, Robert, there isn't. Mary has to marry Carlisle. Unless she" His wife stops mid-sentence.

"Unless she what?"

"Nothing Robert." He looks at her, really looks at her for the first time in months and in that moment he knows that there is something that weighs heavy on her heart, something that is not about him, or her, or them.

"Tell me," he says. She shakes her head.

"Why not?"

"There is nothing to tell. And if there was I couldn't tell you. That would not be an option." Her eyes are swimming with tears now and he grabs her hand because he wants to comfort her.

"Darling, please tell me. Whatever it is, just tell me. It might make it better." She looks at him as if she was about to unburden herself but then she shakes her head, says "I'm sorry" and leaves.

He wants to get to the bottom of it and even if it appears that his wife doesn't love him anymore, she still doesn't deserve to be so unhappy. Asking Mary about it is not a possibility, because while his daughter isn't exactly hostile towards him, she isn't friendly either. And she never talks about anything when being pushed. Talking to Carlisle is out of the question as well so that leaves only Matthew. The boy has a good head on his shoulders, maybe he will talk.

Matthew is coming back. She wonders if Mary has actually told him about Pamuk but she can't imagine that she did. Although Mary seems to have been in a weird mood for days now, being jumpy and nervous. She knows she should talk to her daughter, but Mary has stopped talking to her, no doubt taking her father's side in their horrible argument. It's been five months now, since their shouting match in the library. She has never been so unhappy. Not even during the first few months of her marriage did she feel like that. She felt alone and superfluous then, but at least at that point she hadn't known what it was like to have a happy marriage, she hadn't known what it was like and what it meant to be loved by the man of her dreams. But she lost his love, lost it to some maid, to someone who showed more interest in her husband than she did, someone he didn't mind telling what he wanted and needed. That is what bothers her most. That he didn't just tell her. He says he tried hard enough and maybe he did, but he certainly didn't tell her plainly enough what he wanted. She wishes he had, she wishes for it so much because then they'd still be happy because he wouldn't have kissed someone else and that she cannot forgive. Or she might be able to forgive it if he at least apologized for it. But he told her that this was just as much her fault as it was his. She knows she neglected him but she did not deserve her husband kissing someone else. She almost broke down when he called her 'darling' that morning, she almost told him everything right there and then, but she couldn't because she has to protect her daughter from her father's disappointment and she also has to protect Robert from the disappointment he will certainly feel. She doesn't think that he could bear it.

Mary walks past her in the entrance hall. "Mary," she says.

"What?"

"Your father's had a letter from Matthew."

"Oh?"

"He's coming back, at least for a little while. I think he wants to talk to you."

"Good. When is he coming?"

"Ask your father."


	2. Chapter 2

He sits at his desk in the library, pondering about what to do with a tenant who hasn't paid the rent in months, but who also has four little children. When Carson enters and announces "Mr. Crawley" he almost jumps of his chair. He only realizes how much he missed Matthew the moment he sees him again.

"Matthew my dear boy, it is so good to see you again." He wants to hug the boy but that would be utterly inappropriate so he shakes his hand and claps him on the shoulder instead.

"It is good to be back. I've missed being here."

"Are you going to stay then?" He hopes that he will. Having Matthew back would make his life much, much better. Not perfect, not even good, but better.

"I don't know. I've already talked to Mary. She was at my mother's house when I arrived. I had actually told her to meet me there. We had to talk about some misunderstandings and I think we've got them cleared up."

"That's good news."

"Yes. Although I don't know where it might lead us."

"So you still don't want to get married."

"I want to marry her, I think. But I don't think that she can marry me."

"Why not? Because of Carlisle? She should just sack him."

"That's what I told her. I told her to break it off with him. But she's afraid of the scandal."

"What scandal? All he can do is write a few lines about how she sacked him for you. Most people will think that a rather smart decision."

"Thank you. Robert, I know it is not my place to mention this, but Mary told me that things between Cora and you were still the same."

"Yes."

"If there is anything Mary or I can do, just let us know. We would be happy to."

"I don't think so. But thank you."

Matthew stays for quite some time and they discuss several issues with the estate and Robert realizes how much easier decisions are to make when he talk things over with Matthew.

Over the course of the next two weeks Matthew has dinner with them eleven nights and he stays at the Abbey for six of them because it is too late for him to go home. Robert often feels as if Downton's gloom has started to lift with Matthew's return.

Sixteen days and thirteen dinners at the Abbey after Matthew's return, Matthew asks Mary to join him on a night time walk and Robert knows what Matthew is about to do. Judging by the blissful expression on Mary's face, his eldest daughter is finally going to say 'yes' to the love of her life.

She sits down in the library by herself. Dinners have become a little more bearable since Matthew has come back. From the day of her and Robert's fight till the day of Matthew's return, dinner had been pure torture every night. She would go upstairs with the dressing gong, get dressed, go downstairs again, sit across her husband and look everywhere but at him. Her and Robert would either not talk at all, or talk only to hurt each other. Mary and Edith had given up on trying to get their parents to have a normal conversation, so they would talk to each other instead, which would lead to fights on two nights out of three. They'd go through the separation, leaving Robert by himself in the dining room. Cora knew he felt lonely in there, but she thought that he deserved it. She also knew that he was drinking far more alcohol than was good for him. She would usually spent the time before Robert joined them in the drawing listening to her daughters' bickering and wondering whether she should have done something differently when raising them. As soon as Robert would enter the drawing room, she would leave, saying goodnight to her daughters and ignoring her husband. She'd go upstairs, get changed and sit on her bed, waiting for Robert to come upstairs too, hoping against hope that he would come to her, would want to talk to her, would at least want to say goodnight. But he never came and she always knew that her hope was in vain. Still she waited for him to turn off the light in his dressing room before she went to sleep. She still hopes for Robert to make an appearance every night, and she still knows that he won't come to her. But dinners themselves and the time afterwards are easier to deal with now.

Matthew is good at keeping the peace between Mary and Edith and between her and Robert and it is obvious that Robert drinks far less alcohol now that he isn't alone after dinner anymore. She stopped leaving the drawing room as soon as Robert would enter it, because Matthew is usually with him and she missed Matthew almost as much as Robert seems to have missed him. Although she wonders what Matthew's intentions are and how Mary will react to them, because throwing over Carlisle to marry Matthew would cause a huge scandal.

The door to the library opens and Robert comes in without seeing her. He pours himself a drink, turns around and almost drops the drink at seeing her there.

"Are you surprised at seeing me in our own library?" She wants to kick herself for having said that. But her husband chuckles at this.

"No. I just didn't expect you to be here. I thought you had gone upstairs."

"Obviously not." Robert sits down next to her, something he hasn't done since their shouting match.

"I think Matthew is proposing to Mary right now," he says to her.

"How do you know that?"

"He more or less told me so. And why else would he be here? And by the look on her face, Mary is about to accept him."

"She can't break it off with Carlisle, Robert."

"I think she already has broken it off with him. I heard her talking on the telephone to him this morning. I didn't listen, but it didn't sound like a conversation people who are about to get married would have."

"Oh dear God. I hope she told Matthew about."

"You hope she told Matthew about what?"

He looks into her pale blue eyes and sees a mixture of doubt, fear and determination in them. He wishes he could make them look at him lovingly again.

"Well, I'd rather you hear the truth from me now than find out about it by reading what Carlisle makes of the truth in the paper. But you cannot interrupt me. Promise me that."

"All right, I promise."

"Good. Now, first of all Carlisle knows this because Mary told him. She had to. I won't tell you why because I don't really understand it myself but there was a story about Mary out there that someone wanted to sell to the papers and Mary knew about this. So she told Carlisle herself and asked him to interfere. And he did. He bought the story without publishing it. But he will publish now, I am sure of it."

"What story?" He is getting rather nervous.

"You promised not to interrupt me. It is the story of Kemal Pamuk's death. The night he died he came to Mary's room. She tried to not let him in, but apparently he was persistent and she eventually gave into him and, well, let's say Matthew won't be the first one to share Mary's bed should they really do get married. Pamuk died in her bed. He did have a heart attack, just as Dr. Clarkson said, just not in his own bed."

"But he was found in his room." He has no idea how this is possible.

"Mary got him back there."

"How? She can't have done it alone."

"She didn't. She had help. Anna helped her. And so did I."

"What?" This must be a joke, she must be making fun of him or trying to hurt him.

"She woke me up, Robert. In the middle of the night. Mary came to our room and woke me up without waking you and then she brought me to her room and there he was. Naked and dead. In her bed. He needed to be brought back to his own room and so we carried him and placed him on his bed." There are tears running down Cora's face now and he is sure that what she says is the truth.

"And you have kept that bottled up inside you for six years? Why didn't you tell me?"

"How could I have done that to you? How could I let Mary disappoint you like that? I wouldn't have told you now if it wasn't almost certain that Carlisle will publish this story with in the next few days."

"So you kept it to yourself. Not to protect Mary, but to protect me." She only nods and he puts her arms around her and says "I wish you had told me. Right away. You wouldn't have had to suffer for years because of this, at least not as much. And Carlisle wouldn't have had such power over Mary."

"That was the hardest part of it. Knowing that she must marry that horrible man because of a mistake she made when she was still so young." She has started to cry in earnest now and puts her arms around him too. They haven't been this close for almost a year and it is tearing him apart. "It has destroyed her life," Cora says when she has calmed down enough. "That was the reason she rejected Matthew when he first proposed. Not because of our baby, but because she couldn't bear to tell him about Pamuk, couldn't bear to hurt the love of her life so much. But she couldn't marry him without having told him either. So she did the only thing there was left to do and sent him away. But she seems to have changed her mind about being able to tell Matthew. Or maybe he just asked her why she couldn't sack Carlisle and she broke down and burdened Matthew with all of it. Just like I have done to you now." He takes her face between his hands and says "Look at me".

She can't look at him. She doesn't want to see the hurt in his eyes. She is sure she can't deal with it.

"Look at me, my darling. Please." She doesn't know whether it is the 'my darling' or the 'please' that finally makes her look at him, but when she does, he looks at her more lovingly than he has done in almost a year. "You haven't burdened me with anything. I just wish you had told me earlier and wouldn't have been in so much pain for such a long time. But you had your reasons and I am not criticizing you for them. I am a little disappointed in Mary, but it's been six years and I dare say she has suffered more than enough. I'll tell her you told me and that I have made my peace with it."

"Have you really?"

"As I said, she has suffered more than enough. She deserves to be happy. As do you. I am sorry, Cora. For what you have been through because of Mary. And infinitely more so for what you have been through because of me. I wish to God every day that I hadn't kissed that maid and that I hadn't accused you of being the reason for me doing it." She looks at him, looks into his eyes and without conscious thought asks "Do you still love me then?"

"Of course I do."

She is sure that her heart stops beating for a short time. The room around her begins to spin and she can't breathe anymore. When she feels her husband's lips on her own, she has the feeling that she is falling endlessly. She isn't sure whether she wants this but she can't stop it. She tries to push him away half-heartedly but is glad she isn't successful.

"Let's go upstairs" he says to her and takes her by the hand. He wants her and more than wanting her, he needs her. He wants to prove to her that he still needs her and he wants reassurance that she still needs him too. He has forgotten all about Mary and Matthew and Pamuk and Carlisle. All he can think about is that he wants to take his wife to their bedroom and do what they haven't done in almost a year now. She lets him take the lead and as soon as they are in their room he pushes her back to their bed. He had forgotten how good it felt to do this with her and it feels incredibly good. It becomes more and more obvious that she wants this too and he is only too willing to give in to her increasingly strong demands. Once they have both reached oblivion and he lies down next to her, she moves closer to him, puts one arm across him and falls asleep. He falls asleep only minutes later.

He wakes when he hears someone knocking at the door and Cora mumbles something that might have been supposed to sound like either 'enter' or 'go away' or anything in between. The door opens and in that moment he becomes painfully aware of several different things. He and Cora left the lights on their bedside tables on, their clothes are strewn all over the room, they are both completely naked, they aren't covered by blankets, they are tangled up in each other, they never found out what happened to Mary and Matthew and Mary has no idea what happened between her parents. So he isn't too surprised but mortally embarrassed when he sees his eldest daughter walk into the room. "Oh dear God, I am so sorry," she says, turns around and leaves.

"Cora?" he asks.

"What?"

"Mary was in here."

"What did she want?"

"I don't know. She left again when she saw us."

"Why?"

"Open your eyes." She does. She is so beautiful when she wakes up. "Now look around you. Look at us."

"Oh dear God."

"That is exactly what Mary said."

"I better get dressed and talk to her."

"Why?" He doesn't want her to leave. It feels so good to have her back again.

"Because it is now 3:15 am. Don't you think that Mary wanted something pretty important if she came in here at such a time?"

"Maybe."

"I'll go talk to her. You could clean up here a little. O'Brien would have a heart attack if she saw this." With that she takes her night clothes and puts them on. He watches her enthralled.

"I'll let you know what she wanted," his wife says to him and leaves. He feels deflated by her actions. There were no kisses, no 'I love you', in short there was nothing. All she did was tell him to tidy the room. But she is right about that. He goes to his own room, puts his pajamas on and then returns. Their room looks like a battlefield and he needs quite some time to find all of Cora's clothes. His own are a little easier to locate because he knows what he was wearing, but Cora wears so many things at once that he has no idea how to keep track of them. He sits down in his chair to wait for Cora to return, but it takes such a long time that he nods off again. He jerks awake when he hears the door open.

"Robert. I didn't think you'd still be here."

"Where would I be?"

"In bed."

"Well, I fell asleep in the chair."

"Your own bed I mean."

"Why would I go there?" She stares at him incredulously and he knows that he has been mistaken. He had assumed that although they probably weren't completely back to normal again, they at least would have returned to sleeping in the same bed.

"Never mind. I might just as well tell you now. You were right. Matthew did propose and Mary said yes. Apparently she wrote a letter to him a few weeks before he came here in which she confessed the whole Pamuk incident to him. They have talked it over. If you want more details you have to ask Mary because my mind wandered off at some point. I kept thinking about, well never mind. Carlisle has already told her that he will publish so we better prepare for a huge scandal."

"We knew this was coming. What did you keep thinking about?"

"Us. But I don't want to talk about it. I want to sleep. I need to sleep. I am sorry darling, I am just so incredibly tired. I haven't slept in months." Her voice has become softer with every word. She is sitting on the bed looking as if she was about to fall over.

"Then go to sleep. I'll stay or I'll leave, whatever you prefer."

"Stay. I don't want to be myself." Maybe he wasn't mistaken after all. He lies down in their bed and puts his arms around her; she sighs, though it is not clear to him whether it is sigh of contentment or defeat, and then she falls back asleep. This time he stays awake for hours, just holding her and thinking about their marriage. He knows what he wants, but isn't sure about what she wants.


	3. Chapter 3

She wakes up the next morning and feels more rested than she has felt in weeks. She wonders why that is for a second until she realizes that Robert is sleeping next to her, holding her in a tight embrace.

"Robert, let go of me."

"No." Obviously he is still asleep.

"Robert, I need to go to the bathroom. You have to let go." He mumbles something she can't understand but he does let go of her. When she is back in their room, she wonders if she should go back to bed, but there isn't much else to do. She can't ring for O'Brien with Robert still asleep. She could of course wake him but she doesn't want to do that. He looks so peaceful and relaxed. She hasn't seen him so relaxed in almost a year and there is a storm coming their way and she doesn't want to take these moments of peacefulness from him. So she lies down next to him. He faces her and she looks at him. She hasn't looked at him properly for such a long time she can't remember the last time she did. Without realizing it she moves closer to him and smoothes his brows. She used to do that when he was stressed and she now has an inexplicable need to touch him, to feel that he is really in their room and not just a fantasy her mind has concocted. He opens his eyes and looks at her.

"You came back then" he says.

"Yes. But I didn't want to wake you. I am sorry."

"It's all right. It's already nine and we have to face the world at some point."

"There won't be anything in the papers today."

"I suppose not. But I have to go to London later on."

"What?"

"I forgot to tell you. I have to talk to Murray. About Bates."

"How long will you stay there?" She doesn't want him to leave her. Not now.

"Two or three days."

"Oh." She is disappointed beyond words.

"Cora, why don't you come with me? We could open the house. If it is just us and we tell them now there shouldn't be a problem. We can go out for dinner tonight, so there won't be any hassle because of the food." She considers this. She would like to spend more time with him, but she isn't sure if it is a good idea to be constantly alone with him.

"Cora, I think it would be good for us if we spend some time alone. Just the two of us I mean."

She isn't sure about this.

"What if we fight again?"

"We won't fight."

"How do you know?"

"Because we have fought long enough. I think we are done with that."

"Maybe. I will go with you. It might be good for you to not be alone after talking to Murray. When is your appointment with him?"

"Tomorrow morning at eight. That's why I have to leave today. If we leave at three we will be in London early enough to go to the house and get changed. I'll take you out to dinner. The Ritz. Or somewhere else if you like."

"No, The Ritz is fine."

"We could go to the theater after dinner."

"No. Let's just have dinner and then go home."

"If that is what you want, we'll do that." His kindness and mindfulness of her wishes make her cry. He takes her in his arms again. "I am glad you are coming with my darling, I really am."

He is so glad that his wife has decided to come with him that he can't put it into words. He still isn't sure what she wants, she hasn't really said anything yet but at least she doesn't seem to want to fight with him anymore. Although that doesn't mean that she has forgiven him or that their fight really is over. Except for the past year and first few months, his marriage to Cora has been almost perfect. They love each other very much and at least until almost a year ago, they had been able to deal with every kind of trouble coming their way. But whenever trouble came their way in form of a fight between them, they had had their own specific way of dealing with it. When other people asked him, how he and Cora managed to get along so well and to never keep on fighting, he always answered that it was that way because they talked a lot. And that is true, they did talk to each other and they talked about their fights, but in nine cases out of ten, talking about their fight wasn't what ended the fight. They usually ended their fights by making love first and talking afterwards, because for some reason it had always been easier for him to talk about any kind of personal troubles after having been reassured of Cora's continuing love for him. But he hasn't been reassured this time because she didn't say anything. She only asked him to tidy the room and then told him that she didn't want to be by herself. Cora used to say that she wasn't sure that their way of ending fights wasn't backwards and he always thought that she was right, but their accustomed way was just faster, easier and admittedly far more enjoyable than what might have been the 'right' way. They are good together, incredibly good, and that alone had often been reassurance or incentive enough to end fights. But not this time. Maybe this time it would have been better to talk first, because now he still isn't sure whether Cora still loves him and the thought that he might have taken her to bed without her loving him hurts him more than he cares to admit. They have to talk today, he knows that, but he also knows that it will be incredibly difficult for him to get through talking about their feeling without interrupting their conversation by trying to get her to go to bed with him again and he knows that she can hardly resist him. That is usually something he is rather proud of, but at the moment it makes things rather difficult. When he kissed Cora last night, he felt her trying to push him away, but it was done only half-heartedly, so he ignored it. Maybe he shouldn't have done that, but he can't regret last night and he hopes against hope that it really did mean the end of their fight.

When he tells Mary and Matthew that he is going to London with Cora, Mary gives him a hug and Matthew claps him on shoulder. They both wish him 'good luck'. Edith says they are crazy to go there with the impending scandal. Apparently Mary has confessed to her too, or maybe Edith has known about this for some time already. He only smiles at her and assures her that they will survive the scandal even if they are in London for a few days.

"Edith thinks we are crazy. To go to London now with the impending scandal", he says to Cora when they are on the train. She smiles at him. "I don't think that makes anything worse. We'll have to face it one way or the other and we are not planning on going to any parties. And we just won't take calls at our house. We'll get through this Robert." She is sitting opposite him, but her last sentence makes him want to be closer to her, so he gets up and sits down next to her. She puts her head on his shoulder the moment he sits down. "Yes. We will."

They arrive at their house at six thirty and get changed. He falls back into his old habit of walking into her room as soon as he is finished. Cora is not finished yet but she smiles at him the moment he walks into the room. Once O'Brien has left he takes Cora by her hands and looks at her. "You are so beautiful."

"Thank you." He leans forward and gives her kiss on the lips and he can feel her smile.

"Let's show the world what a beautiful wife I have." She shakes her head at him but he knows it is not supposed to mean 'no'. They walk downstairs hand in hand. It is a feeling of elation for him and by the smile on Cora's face he knows that she is happy at this moment too.

When they arrive at the hotel, he guides her inside with his right hand on the small of her back and for the first time in almost a year she has the feeling that he is really taking care of her. She tells him to go ahead and get their table while she goes to the powder room. There is nothing that she really needs to do in there, but she needs to take a deep breath. She has to decide which way she wants this to go. She knows that Robert wants to go back to how they were before the war took over their lives but she isn't sure. Despite his apology she still can't forgive him for kissing another woman. But last night and today have shown her how much she still wants to be with him. However, she isn't sure whether today wasn't just a consequence of last night, and she doesn't know what last night meant. It was wonderful to be with Robert again, but she isn't sure whether she felt like that because she still loves her husband, or whether it only felt that good because her and Robert are just incredibly good when it comes to bedroom activities. She knows they are very good at it, they have had twenty nine passionate years of practice, but this also means that she can't place her reactions and actions form last night in the right light. Making a decision isn't easy and she just can't get to one, so she leaves the bathroom still not knowing what she wants.

"You are with the Earl of Grantham I suppose?" the head waiter asks her.

"Yes."

"Follow me please." She has to bite her tongue not to tell him he that forgot the 'your ladyship' but maybe this one is new and she doesn't want to embarrass him. He leads her to their table and Robert smiles at her in such a loving way that her knees go weak and she is glad that she can sit down.

"Are you alright?" he asks her.

"Yes. I just needed a minute longer than I thought."

He asks her what she would like to have before the waiter comes back and then orders for her. The waiter looks a little taken aback by this and it makes her smile. Robert is a true gentleman and sometimes rather old fashioned but she enjoys him taking care of her so much. They have a very pleasant dinner and she has a little too much wine , so when they leave the restaurant she has to lean on him a little more than would be considered appropriate and she has the feeling that the people around them are whispering about them. When she tells Robert about this in the car he tells her that rumors about the scandal that will be in the paper tomorrow have probably already leaked.

"What do you want to do now?" he asks her when they are home and alone.

"Talk" she says.

"About what?"

"About us."

"It's time I think."

"Yes, it is. Robert, what do you want?" She thinks she knows but she needs to hear him say it.

"I want you. I want us to go back to how we were before I don't know what happened. I want to make you happy again. Because I love you."

"That is very nice to hear. But those things you want, they might be very difficult to achieve."

"Because you don't love me anymore."

"Because you kissed another woman. And I don't know how to ever get over that. I am not sure I will be able to."

"Cora, I don't know what to say. I am so sorry. I wish I could turn back time and undo it. That was the biggest mistake of my life."

"Yes, it was. And you were close to making an even bigger mistake. You wanted to take her to bed. You can't deny that."

"No. I can't deny it. But I didn't do it. If Jane hadn't handed in her notice, I'd have asked her to leave to not be tempted anymore."

"But you were tempted."

"Yes."

"Robert, how am I supposed to forgive you for that?"

"I don't know, but I wish you could forgive me."

"If things hadn't somehow gone wrong between us, would you have been tempted then?"

"No, absolutely not." There is sincerity in his words and she believes them.

"I am glad to hear that."

"Good."

"It was the war."

"What?"

"It was the war that made things go wrong between us. All that worry about Matthew and having all those wounded soldiers around us. It was a lot worse than I thought it would be."

"Yes. Would you have agreed to turning the Abbey into a convalescent home had you known what was coming our way?"

"I don't know. Probably yes. But we would have been better prepared then."

"I should have taken better care of you. I shouldn't have brooded all day long for two years. I should have helped you. Taken some of the work off you. At least been there for you to talk to. But I was too caught up in feeling useless."

"You aren't useless to me. You are my husband. I've been miserable for months, a year really, because of how things were between us."

"I am your husband. And I love you very much. So very much." He moves closer to her now and begins to kiss her. They aren't finished yet and she needs to stop him right now. Robert's preferred way of ending fights with her is to make love to her first and then talk about their fight afterwards. She sometimes thinks that it would be better to do it the other way around, to talk things over first, but Robert's way of ending fights has proven rather effective over the course of the last 29 years and it is certainly much more enjoyable to make love first and then talk about unpleasant things, after having already reassured one another of their continued love than to go through a very awkward conversation first. But she is still confused about last night and to be able to deal with her own feelings, to know what she wants, they need to talk first this time.

"No Robert. Please. Don't. Not right now."

"I am sorry."

"Robert, you know that we won't be able to get back to normal within a day, don't you?"

"Yes. However long it takes, I just want us to be happy again. To have a real marriage again." The last sentence is what finally lets her make a decision, what lets her see clearly, what lets her understand last night. A real marriage.

"Robert, I want that too. Very much. Because I love you more than anything else in the world. But I will need time to heal. We will need time to heal. After that fight" She doesn't get any further because Robert has once again started to kiss her and this time she doesn't stop him. She eventually takes the lead and they don't stop at anything. While what they did last night was a reassurance of their mutual desire for each other, they are now finally making love again. Last night meant the ending of the fight the fought against each other, this night means the beginning of the fight for their marriage. A fight they will fight on the same side, a fight they are both determined to win.

He wakes up the next morning when his alarms clock rings and it is the second time in two days that he wakes up with his wife in his arms. It makes him so happy that even the prospect of the scandal hitting today and having to talk to Murray doesn't make him feel downcast. Cora hasn't been woken by the alarm and as it is only half past six he decides to let her sleep.

When he sits at the breakfast table he opens the newspaper apprehensively, looking for a headline about Mary and Pamuk. The headline he actually reads he was not prepared for and now he needs to wake his wife. This is something they hadn't even considered.

"Cora, darling, wake up."

"Why?"

"Because there is something you need to know and I'd rather I was there when you found out." He hands her the newspaper and her mouth falls open.

"Earl and Countess of Grantham to split after Earl cheats on wife with maid" she reads out.

"Carlisle was there. When we had that horrible fight. He probably heard it."

"We have to call the girls and your mother and tell them that it is not true."

"It is quarter past seven, we can't call anyone."

"I'll do it later then. I'll get up now and get dressed and then I'll call them. You go ahead meet Murray. And then you better take me out to some place romantic tonight. And we better be seen."

"I'd love to take you out, so that is not a burden."

"Good." He turns around to leave.

"Robert?" He turns around at the sound of his name.

"Yes?"

She gets up, walks towards him, takes his face between her hands and kisses him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Will you be here for lunch?"

"No. I'll have lunch at The Capital."

"When?"

"Around twelve I suppose. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. When will you be back?"

"I've got errands to run. Maybe around four?"

"Good. I won't keep you any longer." He kisses her on the lips one more time and leaves.

The first question Murray asks him is whether he really is only there to talk about the Bates situation.

"The rumors aren't true. We won't split." Murray only nods and he gets the feeling that the lawyer doesn't believe him. He is glad when he finally leaves the office shortly after twelve. The Capital isn't that far away, which is why he chose it. When he enters the restaurant and tells the head waiter his name, the man replies "Lady Grantham is already here. I will take you to her."

"I thought you might like some company" she says to him and smiles. He smiles back at her and although they are in public he kisses her.

"You are right, darling. I would like some company. Especially yours."

They sit down and order.

"I've called the girls, your mother and your sister. They were all rather relieved, I must say."

"Murray thought I wanted to talk about a divorce too. I don't think he believed me when I told him that I was really only there for Bates."

"How is that going?"

"Not well, I'm afraid."

"Tell me about it. It might make it better." He is sure that she almost repeated his own words to him on purpose. And so he does tell her about how narrow the chances of Bates walking free are and how likely another scandal will be and how he isn't sure how to break the news to Bates' wife Anna.

"Let me talk to Anna."

"Would you?"

"Yes." She squeezes his hand and smiles a faint smile at him. "And now let's talk about something else. Where do you have to go this afternoon and would you like me to come with you?"

"I've decided not to run those errands. It was just about new clothes but I can just order them without going to the tailor. I am just too tired. I think I'd prefer to go home. And I would certainly like you to come with me. And I might want to eat at home tonight. I know we should be seen in public together, but I think I'd prefer a quiet dinner at our house."

"We've already been seen together today. Let's just go home then."

He takes her hand when they leave and doesn't let go of it the whole way home. They talk about trifles all the way and he forgets about the scandal and Bates for a time.

When they are home they walk to their room without having to talk about it. He helps Cora undress first and then gets undressed himself. They both lie down in bed, he puts his arm around her and they are asleep in minutes.

They don't leave their room for the rest of the day and are asleep most of the time until dinner. O'Brien looks at them calculatingly when Cora asks her to have dinner sent up to their room.

"I think the servants are more shocked by this than they would be were the rumors about our divorce true," he muses.

"Who knows for how long rumors like that have been floating around."

"Probably since the day we got married. Cora, there is one more thing that I need to apologize for. I am really sorry about ignoring our anniversary. We should have celebrated that in style and not spent the day hiding from each other."

"We can still celebrate it. Let's go home tomorrow and have a nice dinner with the girls and Matthew. We could invite your mother and Isobel too. And maybe your sister."

"If you were willing to wait one more week, we could invite Sybil and her husband. If we sent them the money tomorrow they'd be here in a few days."

"You would really do that for me?"

"I would do it for us."

"Then let's do it. I'll call Sybil tomorrow and tell her. I'm sure she'd like to come home. At least for a while."

They spend the night much as they did the one before and are woken the next morning by the alarm clock Robert forgot to turn off. "Robert, turn that thing off."

"I am sorry, darling."

"You should be. You can't keep me up all night and then wake me at 6:30." He knows she isn't really mad at him and he can't help himself and begins to attack her with kisses. "Oh well, maybe you can."

They leave London on the train at three and that train ride is the first time they spend a part of an afternoon together the way they used to before the war took over their lives and their house. They are both reading, he is reading the newspaper and Cora is reading a book and whenever he comes across something that might interest her he reads it out to her and she comments on it. After a while he realizes that Cora is staring at him with a soft smile on her lips. "What is it?" he asks her. "I love you. And I've missed this" she says. He only smiles back at her but is sure that she knows what it means as she returns her attention to her book.

Mary and Matthew are in front of the house to welcome them and without preamble Mary says "you have to hurry because it is white tie tonight. I couldn't stop Granny from inviting herself here". "I can imagine" Cora replies and he turns to her and chuckles. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Mary's face light up at this.


	4. Chapter 4

She wonders if he will come to her room before going downstairs for dinner and has to smile when he does. After O'Brien has left, they spend a few more minutes by themselves the way they used to do, her halfway sitting on the vanity, him leaning against one of the sideboards. The minutes before dinner used to be among her favorite times of the day because it was one of a very few times they could really be themselves. They don't have to be an earl and a countess in those moments, they can just be a normal married couple who talk about their children, their in-laws and their neighbors. She has to laugh at that thought. "What makes you laugh?" he asks. "I just thought about how the minutes before we go downstairs for dinner are among the very few we get to spend as a normal couple during the day. We don't have to be an Earl and a Countess in here, we can just be us." He chuckles at this. "True. I wonder how many of our acquaintances have moments like that during the day. Or during their marriage."

"Your parents had those moments, I am sure of it. Your sister and her husband. Mary and Matthew will have them."

"You've just listed family members, not acquaintances."

"Well, one usually doesn't know acquaintances well enough to know what kind of marriage they have."

"Maybe that is true for some. But when we go to that dinner party on Friday, look at the other couples closely and then tell me what you saw."

"What dinner party?"

"I forgot to tell you. We got invited by Shackletons. And I am afraid we will have to go."

"Yes. We need to be seen together. Maybe we should behave improperly to show that we are still in love."

"Cora, you are incorrigible."

"Why?"

"Because you'll make us stumble from one scandal into the next."

"You told me yesterday that you thought that rumors about our divorce had been floating around since the day we got married. It is all the same scandal then."

"Tell my mother that."

"Will she be going to that dinner party too?"

"She and the old lady are friends."

"Oh joy."

"Yes. And to get into the mood we now have the honor of going downstairs and enjoy another dinner with my mother."

"You might have to take me by the hand, otherwise I probably won't leave this room."

"Incorrigible, just as I said. Come here then. Let's shock my mother and the servants by walking into the dining room hand in hand."

"Your mother and Carson will howl at the moon in unison."

"We might have to cover our ears then."

"Don't you dare behave tonight in the same manner you behave at home." She is exasperated by her son and daughter-in-law. First they fight for months and make everyone miserable and the moment this leads to a scandal about an impending divorce, they return to being what they were before the war, a couple obviously in love and obviously quite reluctant to follow society's rules on how a married couple should behave; in short they aren't making everyone around them miserable anymore, but they are making everyone uncomfortable. She was glad when Cora called her the day the scandal broke and told her that it wasn't true, she didn't even say a thing when they walked into the dining room hand in hand a day later but when the next day she found them kissing in the library in the morning and kissing in the drawing room in the afternoon she was once again sick of it.

"Don't worry Mama, we'll be good," her daughter-in-law reassures her, although she doesn't know whether to believe it.

All her guests seem surprised when they see that both the Earl and Countess of Grantham have come and that there is no apparent animosity between them. In fact, they don't even complain when they have to sit next to each other at dinner because there is uneven number of people and there is just no way around sitting one couple together. They seem a little surprised that it is them but to a close observer it becomes obvious that the surprise is a good one. She watches them carefully. She only sat them next to each to see what would happen. Her mother-in-law told her off for doing so. "The Dowager Countess of Grantham is a good friend of mine. Do you have to embarrass her like that?" But the house is hers now and she can do whatever she wants and she told her mother-in-law so, in no uncertain terms. She was hoping for something to happen, a complaint about the seating arrangement, maybe an eye roll or sour looks and later on, maybe a fight, or at least a few unkind words between Lord and Lady Grantham. But they have sat next to each other for twenty minutes now and there hasn't been one unfriendly look, let alone an unfriendly word. They behave impeccably, talking to everyone around them and as is her usual custom, the Countess charms the wits out of all the men around her.

He is sitting next to Lady Grantham and he thought about apologizing for his wife's poor choice of seating order, but it doesn't seem to bother either Lord or Lady Grantham that they have been placed next to each other, so he doesn't say anything. He envies Lord Grantham and he can't believe that the scandal of an impending divorce holds any truth. He would never divorce Lady Grantham. She is a beautiful woman, but so is his wife, yet he would like to divorce her very much. But Lady Grantham has something about her that cannot be described in words. She is a generally kind and intelligent woman but that is not it. Maybe it is her way of speaking, or her accent or the way she moves or her smile or maybe all of those things and more. He knows he is not the only man in this room pining for her. He is sure that every man in this room wishes to be in Lord Grantham's stead. To be married to a woman like that. When his wife asks the women to go through and they all get up, he sees how the hands of Lord and Lady Grantham touch briefly and they look at each other for a moment. He can't see their faces but he is almost sure that they smiled at each other.

"So, rumors about your divorce aren't true then," he says to Lord Grantham once he has had enough to drink to ask such an impertinent question. "No," the earl replies and smiles. "Mary had to break it off with Richard Carlisle to be able to accept Matthew and Carlisle is taking his revenge. That is all."

"So you didn't take a maid to bed then?"

"That is a very personal question, but I'll answer it all the same. No, I didn't."

"And you don't have a mistress either."

"Of course not."

"You are a lucky bastard."

"I do not appreciate you questioning my parentage, but I agree that I am very lucky."

She corners Lady Grantham right after the separation because she has to know whether the scandal is true. She saw Lord and Lady Grantham's hands touch when they got up after dinner and she also saw the look that passed between them. It wasn't that of two people about to file for a divorce.

"Lady Grantham, I hope you don't mind me asking. But how is it going between yourself and Lord Grantham?"

"Very well, as usual."

"So the rumors aren't true?"

"About the divorce? No. That is just a man slighted by Mary taking his revenge."

"I am happy for you then." But she isn't. She is jealous of Lady Grantham. For being married so happily. And for being what she is, not a countess, but a woman who is able to keep her husband's interest, a woman who is still loved by and in love with her husband after thirty years of marriage.

"Mama, are you satisfied with our behavior?" he asks her jokingly.

"Yes. But you shouldn't have been placed next to each other at dinner."

"Have you ever gone through a day without complaining?" Cora asks his mother and he has to chuckle.

"Well, not everyone can be as smiley and as American as you."

"That is true. Once again, I was the only American in the room."

"One would think that having lived in England for more than thirty years would have made you less American."

"I like being American."

"I bet you do." He knows that at least Cora does not want to fight with his mother and he doubts that his mother wants to fight with Cora. They have just become so used to bickering with each other that they can never stop.

"Once Mary and Matthew are married we should go on vacation to America."

"I hope you are not including me."

"No. I was thinking about a romantic vacation with your son." He thinks his mother is going to explode and he wants to warn Cora but she looks at him and smiles in a way that tells him that she won't say anything else on the subject. His mother keeps complaining for a while but he doesn't really listen, he gets lost looking at his wife instead.

Later, when he comes into her bedroom she looks at him and says "You were right." He is confused for a second and asks "About what?"

"The other couples. I did look at them. They don't have what we have. Not one of them. You should have heard those women talk about their husbands It was a lot worse today than it usually is, and I think that was because at least half of them thought that I would join their complaining. But I would never say anything like that about you, no matter how much we might have fought."

"I talk to those husbands. I know what they say about their wives and so I can very well imagine what the women say."

"It was as if they were happy about our divorce. Lady Shakleton cornered me and asked me outright if it was true."

"So did her husband. He asked me if I had a mistress. As if I needed one."

"I'm glad you think that."

"I'd rather not do it all than with anyone who is not you."

"Robert"

"What? It's true." She is laughing now and he has to laugh too.

A week later they wait in front of their house to welcome Sybil and Tom. She watches as her husband welcomes their youngest daughter first and then shakes Tom's hand almost warmly. Sybil seems overjoyed to be home and even Tom doesn't seem to mind being back at Downton.

"We'll have the anniversary dinner tomorrow night, so you'll have time to rest."

"Thank you Mama. I am glad you and Papa worked things out."

"Yes. It was time. It's rather ironic that it happened two days before the scandal began, but maybe it was fate, who knows."

"So you two are back to normal?"

"We are on our way back to normal. That is more than I would have hoped for two weeks ago." She would never mention this to any of her daughters but she herself hadn't been sure that Robert and her would ever talk to each other again, let alone have a real marriage again.

She is woken the next morning by her husband gently kissing her. "Robert," she mumbles, puts her arm around him, pushes him onto his back and tries to fall asleep again.

"Cora, darling, wake up." He keeps on kissing her.

"I'm too tired to open my eyes." He attacks her with more kisses.

"That won't help, Robert. Considering how long we were up last night and how much we had to drink, you'll need a bucket of ice water to get me out of bed."

"All right," he says and she hears him leave the bed and go into her bathroom. When she hears the water running she decides that it is better to actually get up.

"Why the rush Robert?"

"We have guests."

"I thought Isobel and your mother and sister weren't coming before tonight."

"That is true. But Tom and Sybil are already here."

"They can have breakfast without us."

"They did have breakfast without you. I had breakfast with them, but I let you sleep. We'll have lunch in half an hour."

"What? Robert! Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you looked so peaceful."

"I give you peaceful," she says and throws a pillow at him.

He catches the pillow and throws it back at her. It hits her squarely in the face because she didn't even try to catch it. Apparently she didn't expect him to throw it back at her.

"I am sorry," he says but he can't stop laughing. She looks at him exasperatedly and he knows that she is making a decision in that moment. She has to decide between being mad at him for having thrown the pillow back at her or laughing with him. Between taking this as a setback on their way back to normality or as having finally reached normality again. Because before the war took over their lives, Cora would have laughed herself silly about a situation like this one, but afterwards she would have been offended. His heart explodes with joy when she begins to laugh.

"I better ring for O'Brien," she says once she has calmed down enough to speak.

"Yes."

"You should leave this room."

"I know," he sighs. But instead of walking towards his own room he walks towards her and kisses her.

"I love you," he says to her.

"I love you too," she says and holds on tightly to him until there is a knock on her door.

He goes downstairs and finds both Matthew and Tom in the library, which doesn't really surprise him, because he already thought last night that those two got along rather well and not just because they seem to favor the same kind of drink. He forces himself to be happy about the friendship his two sons-in-law are obviously forming, because if Matthew likes Tom it is probably a very good sign. And one of the things Cora and he fought over was allowing Sybil to follow her heart. Cora was ready to welcome the chauffeur to the family and he is sure it would make her happy if he were to welcome him too.

He talks to Matthew about the problems with the farmer who can't pay his rent but has four little children and Tom offers his opinion, not surprisingly arguing that they should be lenient towards the farmer. He realizes that Tom has a different perspective on things and wonders if that wouldn't be very helpful in running the estate.

Once he is changed for dinner he goes into his wife's room and waits for O'Brien to leave. He leans on the side board as soon as the door has closed and watches his wife turn around and lean onto her vanity.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"I am listening."

"Do you think it would be a good idea to ask Sybil and Tom to stay here?"

"What?" The surprise and disbelieve in Cora's face speak volumes.

"I'd like Sybil to be back here. And I know you would like that too. And I think having Tom here might be a good idea."

"Why? You were against their marriage, even if you gave them their blessing."

"Yes, I was. But she loves him, that is obvious. And he is decent man. And he also might be good for the estate."

"Why do you think that?"

"Matthew and I talked about some problems concerning the estate before lunch. Tom was there too and offered his opinion. He has a different perspective on things, and as hard as it is to admit it, he made both Matthew and me see sense concerning some aspects."

"Then ask them to stay. Tell Tom you want his help. They might want to stay."

"Good. But I won't do it before tomorrow, because tonight is about you."

"No Robert, tonight is about us. And our marriage."

"I thought we had ruined it forever."

"So did I. But we were wrong. We've made it through the darkest path of it and we came out unscathed."

"Even without bruises?"

"Not without them, but they are gone. I think it is safe to say that we are back to what we were. When you threw that pillow back at me this morning, I knew that we had made it."

"Why was me throwing a pillow at you what made you think that?"

"Because it meant that you didn't walk on eggshells around me anymore. You reacted the way you would have before the war took over. You weren't afraid anymore of hurting me with every little thing you said and did. Because you knew what would hurt me and what not. Things that hurt me you wouldn't even think of doing or saying, so you could react in a way that was natural for you. Natural for us. And then I realized that I could react like that too, or rather that I had already done it by throwing the pillow at you in the first place."

"Come here," he says and opens his arms to indicate for her to step into them. She does exactly that. He takes her face between his hands and looks into her eyes.

"I love you, my darling. I have loved you for the past thirty years and I will always love you. There was a headline in one of the newspapers this morning that said 'Earl and his Countess not to split'. I had to laugh about that. People are calling you 'my Countess' again, something that started when they first realized that we truly loved each other, they even called you that before you actually were a countess. And you are my Countess but that is just a consequence of who you really are. My wife, mother of my children, love of my life."

He knows that Cora is not able to speak right now, but the tears running down her face show him what exactly she feels at this moment. He wipes the tears away and kisses her.

"Now let's go downstairs and celebrate our marriage." Cora only nods; he takes her hand and leads her downstairs. He doesn't let go of her until they have to sit down at the dinner table, and he takes her hand again as soon as the men have joined the women again after the separation, which he made sure was wasn't even five minutes long. He doesn't let go of his wife for the rest of the night.

* * *

AN: Once again we are at the end of a story. Thank you for all the reviews and views!

Kat


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